Upstairs Downstairs
by carolynholm
Cher Madame,
La moronic dog, she is vraiment out of control.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Okay, what is it this time?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Moi, I put my petit face in le doorway of le kitchen, to see if Madame realizes that la clock she says c’est dinnertime, et cette dog, cette animal deranged, cette mongrel pathetique, she chases moi up the stairs.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
It looks like you survived this little bit of excitement.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je suis un cat of much dignity.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Too much dignity to be chased by a dog?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Mais oui!!! C’est gratifying that Madame comprehends. Cette dog has no respect.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
But you chase her all the time! I don’t blame her for turning on you now and then.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je suis français, et Madame is aware that we are a people who savor la cuisine, le fine beverage, la good life. Not scrambling avec un dirty hell hound. A hound, il faut dire, who was a pathetic rescue animal without knowledge of her parentage.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You are not French. You were picked up out of a Los Angeles gutter. So who knows who your people were. But we love you anyway.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Mais j’etait picked up by a student, from le prestigious USC, not un ordinary rescue group.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
So you admit you are from Los Angeles, not France?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
God knows how this malheureux petit kitten got to Los Angeles.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Here’s what it comes down to, Puff honey – you are in no position to denigrate rescue groups. Or to be snooty to Poppy. Who is, by the way, a very glamorous looking animal.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Un glamorous hussy. Who is vraiment rude, avec all this chasing.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
But you chase her all the time! You lie in wait in the upstairs hall so you can ambush her! Yesterday you made her scream when you took a swipe at her as you ran at her. Upstairs she is terrified of you. She only takes a stand downstairs in the kitchen. She thinks it’s hers to defend.
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Comment? Le kitchen c’est hers? Pah. I make la dog tremble et hide dans le kitchen. Upstairs, c’est mon domain. Je suis le master of mon domain.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Ok, you’re basically nuts. Someday, I hope, we will finally broker a peace between you two, so we no longer have this upstairs downstairs craziness.
Love, Carolyn
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