Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
The Poppy and I, we greet each other. It is cordial. I enter the room and walk up to her and we do the amiable acknowledgement. I sniff her ear. We do the head bump. C’est une situation heureuse.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You two get along very nicely.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Oui, nicely. Though, il faut dire, we’re not the true pals like Poppy and Winston. The BFF. But nicely.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Those two are great together, aren’t they? Winston is crazy about Poppy. They walk around the house, side by side. It’s very sweet.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Oui, sweet. But The Poppy and I, we are cordial. Mostly.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Are you leading up to something? You sound like a cat making a point. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
C’est ça. Madame can be occasionally perceptive. The point, she is that sometimes the Poppy is transformed. She becomes a crazy animal. About her food. She is rude to this pauvre petit cat.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
She does carry on when you cats walk past her food.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Does she not know that no one wants her food? 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
She doesn’t know that.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Ours is superior.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Yours is suitable for a cat. Hers is suitable for a dog.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She barks at me! It is rude. It is disconcerting. I hiss “Tais toi!!!” and she barks some more. Then the next time I see her she is back to the normal. She is vraiment two dogs! Is this the Schizophrenic personality? The BiPolar?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
That’s not how those terms are intended to be used. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This dog, she is just crazy?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
She’s just being a dog, and dogs are often protective about their food. Don’t take it personally.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
It is certainement personal. Madame should be aware that when someone attacks you for walking past the food, c’est personal.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
In that case I suppose you are handling it well, by hissing a very personal, not so cordial, message to her to shut up.
Love, Carolyn

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Hey Winston,
I don’t know how you survive from day to day.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
???????
Winston

Dear Winston,
What’s that nasty sore between your shoulders? I sent a picture to the vet and he said it looks like an abrasion, and if it starts swelling to bring you in. An abrasion? How the heck did you get that? 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Probably from having fun!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Presumably. But you’ve never been outside. And we have a supposedly safe environment inside. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Perfect for running FAST!!! Dad says “I wonder what this running around is all about!”  But he should try it! It feels so good!
Winston

Dear Winston,
I’d like to see that. The two of you leaping over the sofa together and racing through the kitchen.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
I bang myself on furniture when I jump up and run around the house. 
Winston

Dear Winston,
You do indeed. The coffee table especially. When you hit that thing the clanging sound rings through the house. All that metal and glass. Did you get that abrasion from hitting the underside of the table at top speed?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
That must be it!!!! You should move that coffee table.
Winston

Dear Winston, 
I’m not going to take interior design advice from someone who took a bite into one of the lamp shades. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
What bite?
Winston

Dear Winston,
Two neat punctures, cat-fang sized. In a lampshade. Next to the sofa.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Are they still there?
Winston

Dear Winston,
Of course they are.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
That was an exploratory bite.
Winston

Dear Winston,
You’ve probably banged your head on the furniture too. More than once. No wonder you are, well, eccentric.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
I am?????
Winston

Dear Winston,
But always ready for more. Half-cocked, ready to fly at the slightest noise. Always ready to jump up and go. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
That’s because I love Hip Hop!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Hip Hop? I don’t think you really know what Hip Hop is. 
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
It’s hopping! I love to hop around!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Not exactly. It’s a whole culture. But I’m sure they would appreciate your enthusiasm.
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
You and Dad should try Hip Hopping around! It’s hella cool!
Winston

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Dear Mom,
Am I supposed to do something with this thing?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Yes! You can ring that bell when you want to go outside!
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
But I can just come to you, put my paw on your knee, and look up into your eyes to say I want to go outside.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
But you also do that when your food bowl is empty. Or the water bowl is low. Or you want a snuggle.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Yes! And it works!!!!!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
After I’ve checked your food and water bowls. I’d just like to skip all that and go straight to the outside part. I don’t know why this is so difficult for you.  Other dogs can figure this out. Molly used this bell all the time.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Molly loved it. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You remember that! Yes, she did indeed, racing across the kitchen with the bell, tapping as she went, like it was a soccer ball. A little bit annoying at times, but effective.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
You said then that she had an advanced degree in Bell Ringing.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
She did. She was an enthusiastic bell musician. It helped that she was a Terrier with OCD, but still, other dogs have figured this out.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Do you want me to be a Bell Musician?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I just want you to tap the bell if you need to go out.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Is that why you hold my paw to tap the bell each time we go out?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Yes! But the idea is for you to do it on your own.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I’m not sure I understand this. I think I’ll stick to the paw on your knee. It has always worked for me.
XOXO Poppy

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Cher Madame,
The Winston, he is being obnoxious. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Because he sometimes sleeps in your spots?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
These spots they are special Boss Cat Spots. They are not for the adolescent Siamese upstart.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
We’ve talked about this, sweetie. The vet pointed out that Winston has reached Social Maturity. He’s not a kid any more. So more and more often he’s challenging your authority. He’s no longer putting up with you lording it over him.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
But je suis the Boss Cat.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You have been up to now. But things change. And for Winston, that’s a bit of a problem. When he strikes back at you, it fills him with anxiety. That’s why he’s started kneading the coverlet on the bed. We think so anyway. He never did any kneading when he was younger.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
He is very strange. Why can’t he just curl up and go to sleep like the rest of us?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Anxiety. It’s a powerful thing. He’s actually a bigger cat than you are. But he’s always been the Kid, and known you as the Boss Cat. And it doesn’t help that you are a bit of a bully. So now he’s standing up to the big bully that he always deferred to. And he’s conflicted. So, he kneads the coverlet to calm down.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
He is not bigger.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
He is, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
But I have more weight. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
That’s not to your credit, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
As Boss Cat I am very fair. Very diplomatic.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No, you are not, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
No one has any respect for the Boss Cat. The vet she said holding me was like holding a big soft bunny. A bunny. Mon Dieu. A bunny.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
But she also said that you are a handsome dude!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
And, enfin, Madame herself spoke to the neighbor and referred to us as The Puma and The Panda.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Oh dear. You heard me say that?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Oui, I heard that. From Madame, c’est toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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Dear Winston,
How’s it going with Puffin?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
It’s going GREAT!!!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Great? Does he think so? The two of you are getting along ok?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
We are! We play Gotcha! And Whack and Run! And Me Chase You Chase! It’s so much fun. Especially Me Chase You Chase!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Is that when you chase him out of the room and then he chases you back in, and then you chase him out, and he chases you back in, and on and on like that?
Love, Carolyn

Mom,
Yes!!!!!! It’s SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! 
Winston

Dear Winston,
That’s a lot of exclamation points. Does Puffin like it too?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Of course he does!!!!!!! And sometimes Poppy plays it with us. You REALLY should try it too.
Winston

Dear Winston,
I’m glad you and Puffin have such good games. What is Whack and Run?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
It’s when I punch Puffin, POW POW POW!!!!! and then dive under the sofa cushions.
Winston

Dear Winston,
That explains how the cushions end up on the floor. What exactly is Gotcha?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
That’s when Puffin comes up to me, looms over me, and then his paw comes out lightning fast with a punch. And then I run like crazy. That gets Poppy all excited, so she runs after me barking. We all get crazy!!!!!!!
Winston

Dear Winston,
Crazy is clearly the operative word here.
Love, Carolyn

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Dear Mom,
What is going on with the cats????????
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
There’s always something going on with the cats. What are those boys up to now? 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Yesterday they were chasing each other. Back and forth. Back and forth.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
That’s a new game, isn’t it! Their relationship seems to be going through a change. They are actually playing together. More like equals.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Winston has started to stand up to Puffin!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
He has. Puffin doesn’t know what to make of it. And Winston seems anxious about it. He’s been doing a lot of really intense kneading every night at bedtime. Really intense. It’s getting annoying.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
The Kid has grown – he’s bigger than Puffin now! 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Puffin still has him beat when it comes to weight.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Winston no longer lets Puffin bully him out of the best snuggle spot on the bed.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I was mentioning this to the vet and she brought up a term I hadn’t heard before. She said Winston has reached an age of Social Maturity. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
He’s a grown-up now?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
That might be stretching things a bit. He doesn’t act much like one, does he? But this might explain what is going on. He’s reached a level of maturity that leads him to stand up to Puffin. But this is creating a bit of anxiety for him, because he is so used to deferring to the Senior Cat. So, he’s been doing that intense kneading to calm down. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
After you gave Winston the banana catnip toy, they had a really exciting fight!!!!!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Giving him the banana was a mistake. I thought it would calm Winston down, but when Puffin saw that, he was incensed. He thinks the banana is exclusively his. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Winston loved it. He hunkered right down to lick it. Why do they like that thing? I sniffed it once, and… nothing. Puffin licks and licks it.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
For cats it’s a comforting thing. Like a Binkie.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Comforting??? It started a fight!!! It was so exciting!!!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
A cat ruckus, on the bed, in the middle of the night. Definitely annoying.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
It was awesome. You threw them both out of the room and shut the door.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Your barking didn’t exactly help. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
Everything was quiet this morning.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
When I got up this morning and opened the door, I found the boys sitting there, next to each other, waiting for me to let them back in. Side by side. They can get along just fine when they want to.
Love, Carolyn

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Dear Puffin,
You seem restless today. Is something bothering you?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Yesterday was more than this petit cat could bear. And Madame let that happen.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
The visit to the vet. I’m sorry. I know, you hated it. But I can’t do anything about that. It’s out of my hands. The Annual Vet Visit is a requirement. It is as inevitable as the seasons. Winter comes every year whether we like it or not. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Winter has nothing to do with this. Madame is doing the BS.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No! Would I do that? The annual vet visit is inevitable. Poppy and Winston have to submit to that as well.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
The Vet she was rude. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No she wasn’t! She is a very kind woman. So very gentle with all of you. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She rudely stuck something where it did not belong. In a personal place.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You mean when she took your temperature. I’m sorry, I know that is unpleasant. Unfortunately, a lot of medical procedures are rude. That doesn’t mean the vet herself was rude. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She also made rude remarks about me. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I seriously doubt that, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She did. About my weight.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
She simply said that we need to continue to watch your weight. This is why you are on a special diet. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Is this the vet who said, last year, that holding me was like holding a big soft bunny? 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No, that was the other vet. They both love your soft coat. We all love your soft coat. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
It was disrespectful. A bunny????? This petit cat is not the bunny. And Madame was disrespectful as well. Calling this pauvre petit cat SnuggleBuns.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
That was a term of endearment. I was trying to comfort you, sweetie. You were clearly upset. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
They took me to a back room and did unspeakable things to me. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
They drew blood. It was necessary. A cat your age should have blood work done every year, to make sure everything is working properly. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Mon age? Mon AGE?????? Now even Madame makes the insulting reference. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Your age is getting up there. You are over fourteen years old. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours the slap in the face. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Relax, sweetie. You are doing great. Your blood work just came back and you are clearly very healthy. You’ll probably outlive us all. We’ll never be rid of you. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Madame she is harsh.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You know I’m kidding. I would never say something like that to a dog, they are too literal, but you’re a cat, you are an adult. You know a joke when you hear it.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Alors, with Madame, toujours le sarcasm. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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Hey Mom,
Sometimes you drool when you sleep.
Winston

Dear Winston,
Thanks so much for pointing that out.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
No problem! I prowl around and watch everyone. I like the early morning when the air is blue.
Winston

Dear Winston,
That’s a beautiful time of day, isn’t it?
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
I don’t know about beautiful. I like it because everyone else is asleep. Except sometimes Puffin. He gets grumpy in the morning. That’s when he whacks me.
Winston

Dear Winston,
He’s grumpy because he thinks it’s time for us to wake up and provide breakfast. He’s always grumpy in the morning, because he’s hungry. 
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Not me.
Winston

Dear Winston,
No, you graze all day and all night. For you, the timing isn’t such a big deal. But sticking to a schedule means a lot to Puffin.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
I watch Poppy sleep, too. She talks in her sleep.
Winston

Dear Winston,
She does! It’s so cute, she twitches her feet and makes little yippy sleep barks.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Probably going after the squirrel.
Winston

Dear Winston,
No doubt.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Puffin talks in his sleep too.
Winston

Dear Winston,
He does. Something between a moan and a growl. I wonder who he’s threatening in his dreams.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Probably me. 
Winston

Dear Winston,
Good guess.
Love, Carolyn

Hey Mom,
Then I grab one of my krinkly foil toys and bat it around in your bed. Until it disappears.
Winston

Dear Winston,
It disappears under my pillow so that I can go back to sleep without a maniac batting a toy around in my bed.
Love, Carolyn 

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Dear Poppy,
I’ve been so annoyed by your barking, sweetie, and now I read an article about Spitz breeds and find out it is a feature of the German Spitz!
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
German Spitz? Is that me?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
It is indeed.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
What does feature mean?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
It means they think it’s a good thing. That you are vigilant about security.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I try to tell you what’s going on!!!!!!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You do. But maybe we could dial it back a bit? You don’t need to bark about neighbors walking past the house. Or the boys with the thumping basketball. Or Ed on his bicycle. Or even Jim’s three little dogs. Seriously. You could just let these things go by.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I’m trying to be On It. Someone around here has to be.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Then why don’t you also protect Dad? He says when I’m not home you don’t bark at anything. 
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
But taking care of you is my whole job!!!!!!!
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
But it isn’t! You have one job. One job! And that job is to take me for a walk every day. You don’t need to protect me. Really. I’m fine.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
It just pops out of me. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I know. But it’s too much, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
What else did they say about German Spitzes?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
That you are sweet companion dogs who get along well with cats. So, they got that right, too.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
They know all about me!
XOXO Poppy

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Dear Puffin,
When you walk in the room saying “Mao-Wah???” I know something needs attention. What is it this time?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Your bed, she is in disarray. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Oh sweetie, I forgot to finish making the bed. I got distracted and didn’t put the comfy furry cover on it. I know that’s one of your favorite spots.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
It is a spot with a nice view outside the window.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You are usually in the dining room this time of day, but that’s when it is sunny. On a rainy day like today, my bed certainly is a comfy spot.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Sometimes the Winston takes that spot. And sometimes Madame takes that spot when she wants to sit on the bed to read. This is not correct.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s not yours alone. It’s a general spot. Anyone in the household can enjoy it.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
It must be asked, when did this become a rule?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s not a rule, sweetie. It’s just common sense. We all share. None of the spots are proprietary.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Madame has spots all over the house.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
So do you, you rascal. The dining room, my office table, the corner of the sofa, the heater vent when the furnace is on. So many spots.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
The furnace vents are much appreciated. Madame does the magic with the furnace.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
We’re all grateful for the furnace during this cold and stormy weather. Do you want the heat turned up? 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Non, c’est assez bien. But we will inform Madame when it is time to do so.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I’m sure you will.
Love, Carolyn

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