Carolyn Holm

One Dog, Two Cats
Grand Ideas
InterSpecies Memos

Category: Puffin

Torture

Cher Madame,Il faut bring up a serious problem. An epicurean crisis.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,I suspect I know what this is all about.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,Les standards of the kitchen, they are collapsed.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,I understand that you are upset. But I can’t give you what you want.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,It […]

Jump!

Dear Puffin,You have been very jumpy lately. Is it the noise across the street?Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,This petit cat appreciates that Madame understands! Oui, the noise she is excessive.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,It has been noisy, hasn’t it? I’ll be glad when they are finished with that endless house remodel. The pounding, the sawing, the […]

The Lawyer

Dear Puffin,This morning you lied to me. I have to say, I’m disappointed in you.Carolyn Cher Madame,This petit cat does not do the lying.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,You did this morning. As soon as I woke up you were all over me, crying that Monsieur hadn’t fed you.Carolyn Cher Madame,One should ask Monsieur about […]

Snack!

Cher Madame,There is a cat café in Berkeley. I don’t understand why a cat would want to go to a café.Regards, M. Le Poufin  Dear Puffin,That’s a kind of café where people can have coffee and pet cats.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,That sounds like a terrible idea. This café is evidently French, but they spelled “cat” […]

The MouseNip

Cher Madame,This prey is confusing.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,It’s a mouse, sweetie.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,This prey is not a mouse. She is vaguely of the mouse appearance. But mouse she is not.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,It’s a catnip mouse.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,Catnip is a different classification. From le mouse classification.Regards, M. Le Poufin […]

Catfish

Cher Madame,Je suis confused. This toy she is a fish, non?Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,Apparently. I think it’s supposed to be a catfish.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,This is what is a confusion pour moi. Seriously, the fish that is the cat?Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,It’s not a cat, sweetie, it’s a kind of fish […]

Neglect

Cher Madame,You went to Paris again WITHOUT MOI. C’est un outrage.Regards,M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,Calm down, sweetie. It was just a stopover. We never even left the Paris airport. We were on our way to Bonn.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,C’est un outrage regardless. Just a stopover? And yet before she left Madame was brushing up on […]

The Spot

Dear Puffin,There’s something I hope you can explain to me.Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,I am at your service. What does Madame need to know?Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,Well, every morning you carry on, yelling at us to wake up and feed you. So some mornings I get up first, and I feed you. And some […]

Kidnapped

Cher Madame,Je suis EXHAUSTED. Today was an outrage.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,I know, you are upset.Love, Carolyn Cher Madam,This poor innocent petit cat was kidnapped. KIDNAPPED. Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,You weren’t kidnapped, honey.Love, Carolyn Cher Madam,I was! I was kidnapped this morning. C’était outrageous.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,That wasn’t kidnapping, Puff honey. […]

Teeth and Claws

Cher Madame,Il faut dire, Madame is very loud today.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,Because you chewed through another phone charger cord dammit.Carolyn Cher Madame,Why this makes Madame irritable is a curious thing.Regards, M. Le Poufin Puffin,Of COURSE I’m irritable. You chewed right through it. Who DOES that?Carolyn  Cher Madame,Does Madame ask a rhetorical question?Regards, M. […]