Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,

Pour le New Year, je fis une résolution. Mais il faut point out that Madame has not kept up her end of la résolution.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

My end? Now what are you complaining about?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Ma résolution. Tout le monde makes les résolutions. Most stumble et falter, mais not your petit chat. Moi, je keep ma résolution.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

That’s wonderful! So what is the problem?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Comme d’habitude, le problem c’est Madame.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

This is not making any sense, honey. Let’s start at the beginning. Just what was this resolution of yours?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Le moron dog Poppy said she reported to you mes résolutions.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Oh she did, sweetie. I’m sorry, I just don’t remember the specifics.

Love, Carolyn

 

Madame,

Cela est sans doute parce qu’il n’a pas d’importance pour Madame.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

That’s not true, honey. Everything you do is important to me. I’m sorry I forgot your resolution. Tell me now what it was and I promise I won’t forget it again.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Ma résolution, c’est to have a bigger cup de measure for mon kibble.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

It’s all coming back to me now. You wanted a bigger portion of kibble at each meal.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

C’est ça, oui.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

You are on a strict diet, honey. Dr. Virk is very clear about that. You put on all that weight over the holidays by sneaking downstairs at night to eat the dog’s kibble.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Le kibble of les dogs, ce n’est pas fine cuisine. Not like that of les chats. Mais un petit chat must find sustenance when he is starving dans la nuit.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

You are not a starving cat. You look like a bowling ball with legs. Or a big pillow with feet. You look pregnant, with something like fourteen kittens.

Love, Carolyn

 

Madame,

Assez. Madame has made her point. Avec her insults hurled at le pauvre petit chat.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Not so petit, honey. Wait until Dr. Virk sees you. She will get very stern.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

C’est possible I have les big bones. Peut-étre Madame can explain this to la stern Dr. Virk.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

No honey, you just have to lose the weight. It’s for your health.

Love, Carolyn

 

Madame,

Mais je fis la résolution!!!! Regarding le kibble measure!!!!!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

That’s another thing. A resolution is something you do for yourself. Not something you want someone else to do for you.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Maintenant je comprends. Alors, c’est simple. Madame can allow le pauvre petit cat to measure his own dinner!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

LOL.

Love, Carolyn

 

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