Carolyn Holm

Bonjour Madame,

Je voudrais complain about the Spotted One who insists upon sleeping on the bed. Near me.  I do not care to share the bed with her. Not only is she a moron, she is insane.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

You and Mia need to work this out yourselves. Yes, she is a little delusional, and she has some anger management issues, but she is not a moron.

Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,

I went up to the spotted moron and stared at her in a polite and meaningful way, to see if she could find it in herself to move and let me have the bed to myself. She flattened her ears against her head in an unseemly display of psychotic rage and hissed at me. I will not repeat what she said. C’est le language of le gutter.   Not to mention fur was removed.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin

I’m sorry about the mouthful of fur she got, but you were looming over her, giving her your bullying stare. She was entitled to a bit of rage.

Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,

And, je vous en prie, another thing. Could you speak to her because toujours she insists upon calling me Fat Boy.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Okay, I’ll talk to Mia about that. I’m very proud of you. You’ve slimmed down a bit since Dr. Virk got stern with us because your weight was alarming.

Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Eh bien, now that I am slim and magnifique again we can dismiss the diet.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Dismiss? You are so cute. No we can’t dismiss your diet, honey, you don’t want to gain it all back again. You looked like a basketball with legs.

Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Dismiss is not correct? Peut-être c’est le spelling error. I do not share your bourgeois obsession with le spelling. And je suis sure I did not, at any time, resemble un sport ball.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin