Carolyn Holm

One Dog, Two Cats
Grand Ideas
InterSpecies Memos

Tag: French-speaking cat


Hey Mom,Puffin cussed at you just now. Winston Dear Winston,He did indeed.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,He does that a lot. Hissing at you when you move him from your chair.Winston Dear Winston,He does. But not a lot. He’s just saying “F— off” in a general sort of way. I don’t take it personally.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,I don’t […]

Communication Skills

Dear Puffin, You seem unsettled and angry. Is everything okay? Love, Carolyn   Cher Madame, This morning you said something très unfortunate. C’est unforgivable. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, I did? I’m sorry, I was not aware of saying anything unfortunate! Love, Carolyn   Cher Madame, Oui, très unfortunate. That you were going […]

Play Ball!

Dear Puffin, What was all that noise last night? Love, Carolyn   Madame, As usual vous rudely bring up the petit unpleasantness. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, Petit? Hardly. You make such a big production about a simple hairball. Love, Carolyn   Dear Madame, Then you do know what the noise was about, […]


  Bonjour Madame, Je vous en prie, could you find it in yourself to bring the bird feeder indoors so that we could have the chickadees inside? Merci! Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, No. Sincerely, Carolyn   Bonjour Madame, Ma vie est plein d’ennui. Boring boring boring. Toujours la même chose.   Just open […]

Shaken Not Stirred

Cher Madame, Does Madame still refuse to believe that I am French? Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, Puff, honey, you were picked up on the streets of South Central Los Angeles when you were a tiny kitten. I don’t think you got there from France. Love, Carolyn   Cher Madame, Alors, still, Madame […]

Fat Boy

Bonjour Madame, Je voudrais complain about the Spotted One who insists upon sleeping on the bed. Near me.  I do not care to share the bed with her. Not only is she a moron, she is insane. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, You and Mia need to work this out yourselves. Yes, she […]

Bad Ass

Bonjour Madame, Mia tells me I should listen to some singer named Yelle.   Mais alors, I don’t care to. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, Why not, Puff? You’d probably like her because she’s French. Sincerely, Carolyn   Cher Madame, She is une pop singer. I don’t listen to pop music. Regards, M. Le Poufin […]


Cher Madame, I’ve been hearing about a large rabbit.  C’est très alarming. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear Puffin, Could it be you are referring to the Easter Bunny? Love, Carolyn   Cher Madame, Oui, that’s the one.  Molly says he plans to steal the eggs from our chickens. Regards, M. Le Poufin   Dear […]