Mani Pedi
by carolynholm
Dear Mommy,
I can’t believe you cut my nails again. This is not okay. No one is allowed to touch my feet.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Believe me, I’d rather not.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
It’s a very stressful experience.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
It’s no picnic on this end either. But technically, technically, you allowed it.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Because you gave me treats. Otherwise I would never have allowed it. I can’t help it, I love Temptations!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
I know you do. So does every cat I know. I can’t imagine what they put in them to make them so irresistible. I probably don’t want to know. But they are a godsend. It takes at least six of them to get through the nail cutting process.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
I don’t know why you find it necessary to trim them. You don’t trim Puffin’s.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Puffin completely retracts his claws, so they aren’t catching on anything.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
There is nothing wrong with the way I wear my nails.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Oh please, when you come clicking into the room because they are catching on the carpet, they’re clearly too long.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
When you trim my nails you make such a mess of them that I have to fix them.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
And for twenty minutes I have to listen to you slurp and snort, pulling at each nail with your teeth and licking between your toes. It’s disgusting.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
It is called a manicure.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
And you do this to your hind claws too. I’ve never seen another cat do that. You are the only cat I’ve ever known who gives herself a mani pedi. All that’s missing is the polish.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Puffin gives himself mani pedi’s too.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Yes, you taught him that. It figures that would be the only thing he’s ever learned from you.
Love, Carolyn
