Carolyn Holm

Bonjour Madame,

Mia is very full of herself about her dancing, but is Madame aware that she has been twerking?

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Mia doesn’t twerk, Puff.  That is not something a cat is capable of. She says she does because she thinks it’s cool. She is just waving her paws in time to the music. She calls this dancing. It’s very cute.

Love, Carolyn

Bonjour Madame,

Je suis cute. Everyone goes on and on about how Mia is l’artist, but she’s not the only one. Je suis un artist. I am vraiment le type creative.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

That’s wonderful, sweetie. What kind of artist are you?

Sincerely,

Carolyn

Bonjour Madame,

I am working on le projet. You will be très surpris when you see it. It will stop all of you in your tracks.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

That sounds worrisome. What is the nature of this project?

Sincerely,

Carolyn

Bonjour Madame,

Ha ha, nature it is not!  But you should remain calme. You should not alarm your nerves. Mia should, though. Ha ha!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Okay, you need to tell me what you are up to. Now. Or I won’t feed you tonight.

Sincerely,

Carolyn

Bonjour Madame,

Vous êtes très harsh. Okay, okay, I will break the surprise to you, but you must promise not to inform Mia. My project is: I am going to dye her green.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

No. Shut it down. I have found your package of dye and it is out of your reach now. And if you try to go around me, I promise you will be sorry. You think your diet is strict now – ha!  Just wait.

Sincerely,

Carolyn

Madame,

Your bourgeois ideas are a disappointment. Vraiment you do not appreciate l’art. And your clumsy dietary threats make me nauseate.   I wasn’t going to do it anyway, it was a travail hypothétique.   But c’est trop difficile for your bourgeois mind to comprehend.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

Dear Madame,

And, by the way, those shoes look terrible on you.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin