Bad Ass
by carolynholm
Bonjour Madame,
Mia tells me I should listen to some singer named Yelle. Mais alors, I don’t care to.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Why not, Puff? You’d probably like her because she’s French.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
She is une pop singer. I don’t listen to pop music.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Oh. What do you prefer?
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je listen to le Heavy Metal.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Puffin honey, do you know what heavy metal is? I’m not so sure you would like it.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Oui, I would. Je suis a real bad ass.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Madame,
Pourquois you don’t respond?
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
I’m sorry, I was laughing too hard to respond right away. Puff honey, you are not a bad ass. You live in constant fear. Simple things frighten you. Photo flashes frighten you.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
They are not natural.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You are terrified of the cat next door.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
As well I should be. He is un thug who lies in wait for me to stroll through le jardin.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Yesterday you panicked when I dropped a book.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
We were all frightened by that. Well, Molly is too deaf to hear a book drop. But everyone else was frightened.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
No, honey. Everyone was startled by it, but you were the only one to flee the room. You ran and hid upstairs.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
You are ignorant that je suis un bad ass because I don’t flaunt that side of moi.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Maybe when you say you are a bad ass you mean big ass.
Sincerely,
Carolyn
Madame,
Vous êtes très drôle. Ha ha. I am cracking up. Not.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
This is hilarious! I laughed so hard, I…oh, well, never mind. Let’s just say a Depends would have come in handy.