The Visitor
by carolynholm
Memo to: Molly, Poppy, Mia and Puffin
From: The Management
My daughter’s dog Mika will be visiting us for two weeks. I hope you will all make this a good experience for her while we babysit her.
Cher Madame,
Cette Mika, quelle horreur! We pauvre cats must spend les deux weeks frightened and threatened. Moi, je retire to mon hidey hole under le bed.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
I’m sorry. I realize this is difficult for you two cats. I’ll see what I can do to keep her from chasing you.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Aussi, le barking. C’ est très dangereux to sleep with Madame now. This beast, she barks at cats in the bed. How is a pauvre petit chat to wake Madame to order his breakfast?
Regards,
M. Le Puffin
Dear Puffin,
I’m sorry about that. Things will get back to normal when Mika goes back home again.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Until then, un petit chat needs a way to waken Madame every morning. For le breakfast. Tiny meows, c’est un problem. Le beast barks at this petit chat. Il faut design un strategy silent.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Is this why you woke me this morning by chewing on my hair?
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
C’est mon method très silent, so the beast won’t know the petit hungry chat is there in the bedroom.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
I have to say I’m truly impressed by your resourcefulness, but for the love of god don’t do that again. If I have to get my hair cut because you chewed a big chunk out of it, you are in Big Trouble.
Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
I want to ask Mika about her glamorous life in Los Angeles. She says she sees celebrities!!!!! She once saw Shia LaBeouf!!!!!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Everyone in LA sees celebrities. It’s not as big a deal as you think it is.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
But Mika says she is active in the entertainment industry!!!!!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
That’s because she went to a picnic once where there were a bunch of agents. She wouldn’t sit down, she kept running around, and then she barfed on someone’s shoe. But now that I think about it, I guess that counts as active in the entertainment industry.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
She is a world traveller!!!! She travels in airplanes!!!!!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
She isn’t exactly a world traveler. Just within California, honey. In a carrier under the seat.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
But she says she is a travel expert. She makes packing recommendations. Socks. Lots of socks. Especially dirty socks. That’s what Mika recommends.
Love, Mia
Dear Alpha Mommy,
I LOVE MIKA!!!!!!! She’s my bff. Just as long as she doesn’t try to eat my food.
XOXOXO
Poppy
Dear Poppy,
I’ll be sure to keep your bowls separated across the room from each other. We don’t want another incident like we had last time she visited. My daughter is not very happy about the nick you left in Mika’s ear.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Alpha Mommy,
I’m SO sorry about that. I don’t know how that happened. We lost our heads. I never knew there was so much blood in an ear.
XOXOXO
Poppy
Dear Poppy,
We also need some house rules about the wrestling. It gets way too rambunctious.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Alpha Mommy,
We love the wrestling!!!! We never get tired of it!!!!
XOXOXO
Poppy
Dear Poppy,
It’s annoying. It’s noisy, you knock things over, and you overwhelm Molly. Let’s make the wrestling an outdoor sport.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Il est nécessaire pour les chiens de rester en dehors. Outside is le best place for les moronic dogs.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
I realize you don’t like having Mika visit, but keeping the dogs outside all day is not an option.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Alpha Mom,
Mika is harmless. Overly energetic, but harmless. As long as we continue to get fed I don’t have a problem with this visit.
Your Best Dog,
Molly
Dear Molly,
Of course you are going to be fed.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
I don’t care what you say, I am going to ask her about celebrities. And about travel. I want to hear all about life in an airplane!!!!!!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
I’m sure she has a lot to say about it.
Love, Carolyn
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