Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
Il faut dire, Madame is very loud today.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Because you chewed through another phone charger cord dammit.
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Why this makes Madame irritable is a curious thing.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Puffin,
Of COURSE I’m irritable. You chewed right through it. Who DOES that?
Carolyn 

Cher Madame,
Does Madame ask a rhetorical question?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Puppies chew things. You’re not a puppy. You are not even a kitten. You are an adult cat.
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Il faut dire Madame she states the obvious.
Regards, M. Le Poufin 

Dear Puffin,
My point is, chewing a charger cord is not an adult cat activity. And it’s very annoying. Why do you have to chew everything you come across?
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Le cord suddenly appears in the mouth. C’est completely mystérieux. So the teeth, they find they must thoughtfully chew on it.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Thoughtfully? Seriously?
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This petit cat is always serious.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
By the way, there is also my bedroom curtain. You clawed a hole in it! Who does THAT?
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Ahhh, le bedroom curtain. The finch was in the bush outside and it was necessary to reach out to it. The curtain she jumped in the way. C’était un petit snag. Madame is making too much noise about it.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Puffin,
A small snag? It’s two inches across! Your teeth and claws do a lot of damage. There’s also there’s my poor Peace Lily. You chewed on the tips of the leaves and made them raggedy. It looks terrible! Not to mention it is toxic. Actually eat that stuff and I’ll have to rush you to the vet. God knows what they will do to you there.
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Biting the lily leaf was un experiment très unpleasant. The taste, it is ghaack. Not the nice little snack, the amuse-bouche, that had been anticipated. Madame needn’t worry about this petit cat becoming poisoned. There is no need to make threats of the vet to add to the general unpleasantness. That petit experiment will not repeat.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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