Stoner

by carolynholm

Dear Mommy,


Am I a stoner?


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


Where do you get your ideas? No, you’re not a stoner honey.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


Mia said I am.


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


Mia said! How many times have I told you not to listen to the cats?


Love, Carolyn


Dear Mommy,


She said I do weed. Now I’m worried that I’m doing weed.


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


No you’re not. You have a hemp seed chew now and then.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


She says that’s weed!!!!!


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


No, she’s wrong. Hemp is not the same as cannibis. You are not getting stoned on weed.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


The chews don’t make me stoned?


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


No, of course not. I don’t want to get you stoned! Please stop worrying about it. We’re just trying it to see if it makes you less anxious.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


That sounds like stoned to me.


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


It’s relaxed. Stoned is when you go to a park and take off all your clothes. Eat all the cat food. Kiss strangers. No, wait. That’s just being a dog.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


Now I’m confused.


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


I’m sorry, I was messing with you. No, the hemp chews are just a way to help relieve anxiety.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


I have anxiety?


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


Yes you do. And that’s why I got the hemp chews.


Love, Carolyn



Dear Mommy,


Do they work?


XOXO Poppy



Dear Poppy,


Clearly not if this conversation is any indication.


Love, Carolyn


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