Presidential
by carolynholm
Dear Mommy,
I am trying to understand this presidential race.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
We’re all trying to understand it, honey.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
It’s very confusing. First of all, you humans use the word race in different ways. Is the presidential race about seeing who runs the fastest? Or is it about how dark or light each candidate is?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
More like the running kind of race. But instead of running around in shorts, the candidates compete to attract followers.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Like an entourage?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Sometimes. Sometimes more like a mob.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
How do they get these followers?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Ideally by having well prepared plans for what they would do as president. Unfortunately that’s not always the case. There seem to be a lot of wild promises being made. And their followers don’t seem to question how dumb some of those promises are.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Don’t people want a smart president?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia
Not really. A lot of people want to vote for someone who would be fun to hang out with. You know, like over a beer.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
I didn’t think hanging out in bars is an important part of being president.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
It isn’t. But apparently it’s an important part of getting there.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Okay, that makes no sense whatsoever. But let’s talk about this Donald guy. He’s very confusing to me. He looks like a grown-up, but in his words and body language he appears to be a nine-year-old boy.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
He acts like that, doesn’t he? It’s hard to understand the appeal.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
He has some really big plans. A Big Wall. A Big Deportation. Did he get these ideas from a comic book?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
That’s an interesting theory.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
And he sounds like a bully.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
He is a bully.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Wait. He’s a bully and people still like him?
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
There are a lot of people who think being a bully makes him strong.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Puffin is a bully, and it doesn’t make any of us like him for it.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Our Puffin is indeed sometimes a bully. But as you say, it hasn’t earned him any followers. That must be a human thing.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
Humans can be very confusing. The other thing I don’t understand is how being a celebrity qualifies someone for leadership.
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
Very good point! But apparently being a celebrity is a huge draw when you’re running for president.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
I’m a celebrity! I should run for President!
Love, Mia
Dear Mia,
That would be exciting! But honey, you’re the wrong kind of celebrity. You’re a celebrity because you are an intelligent cat who is interested in the arts and science.
Love, Carolyn
Dear Mommy,
What’s the other kind of celebrity?
Love Mia
Dear Mia,
When you earn your celebrity by inheriting a pile of money. That’s the kind of celebrity that voters love. But you would be a refreshing change. We’ll register you in the Republican Party.
Love, Carolyn
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