Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
The dinners, they have become sparse. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I’m sorry, but we have to tighten up the diet, sweetie. Your weight is going the wrong direction.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This pauvre petit cat needs much more sustenance than a tiny cup of food. If Madame is truly sorry, she would feed the food adequately.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s all being measured out according to the manufacturer’s information. This is what they recommend for weight loss. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Il faut dire, this petit cat does not need the weight loss.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
The scale says otherwise. It is telling us that your weight has gone up again. Remember how stern the vet was about this? We want you to be a healthy weight!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This pauvre petit cat is naturellement this size. It is the French Tradition to enjoy the food. We French are not obsessed with being pathetically skinny like stray feral cats.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I wish I knew where this French thing came from. You are from Los Angeles. And specifically, you were found wandering the streets of South-Central LA, a neighborhood not generally known for its French speakers. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Before the LA, I believe I most assuredly came from France.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You were such a very tiny young kitten when you were found wandering the streets, crying and sick with parasites and fleas and diarrhea. I doubt you had just gotten off the boat from France.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours Madame brings up the sordid details.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
At any rate, you were found in a neighborhood that is full of Spanish-speaking immigrants. It’s surprising you don’t speak Spanish.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Bien sûr, je suis un anomaly. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Well, being an anomaly won’t get you any more food, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Madame is toujours harsh to this pauvre petit cat.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I don’t want to be harsh, sweetie. I wish I could give you a snack right now!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours la même chose. Words, Madame, empty words.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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