Communication Skills

by carolynholm

Dear Puffin,

You seem unsettled and angry. Is everything okay?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

This morning you said something très unfortunate. C’est unforgivable.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

I did? I’m sorry, I was not aware of saying anything unfortunate!

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Oui, très unfortunate. That you were going to put me down.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

This is a problem?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Does Madame actually do that? C’est horrifying!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Put you down? Oh! Put. You. Down. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounds. I meant I was going to lift you off my lap.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Pourquois Madame did not say ça?!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

You are absolutely right. I should have. Communication is terribly important. Especially between species.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Bien sûr. Madame she should pay attention.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

We all should. Speaking of which, Poppy is complaining that she can’t understand a word you say.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Pas nécessaire. She doesn’t need to. Poppy et moi, we do not speak.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

It would help if you spoke English. And it’s not just Poppy complaining. Mia says she only understands half of what you say.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Pah. Je suis très clear. But what does it matter. Mia she is rude to me. She calls me Dude. And she says “Move over Fat Boy.” And worst of all, she says “You aren’t even French.”

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

But you’re not. Honey, you are from Los Angeles.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

That is très close to France.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

No, it’s not.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Peut-être I was brought to Los Angeles from France.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

No, you were just a baby when you were found in a South Central gutter. I don’t know where you got this French delusion.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

This South Central, c’est a nice area in LA? Comme Beverly Hills?

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

No, I’m sorry, it’s not at all like Beverly Hills. It’s a bit rougher.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Not a nice neighborhood? C’est très upsetting. Madame should make it up to moi.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

But you live in a nice neighborhood now. You live in the lap of luxury!

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Ahhh, then Madame knows how to make it up. C’est dinnertime now, oui?

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

 

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