Blackmail
by carolynholm
Cher Madame,
The mutt Poppy gets les treats all day long. Toujours les treats.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You get treats sometimes too, sweetie.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Zut alors, not all day long!
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Maybe she does get a few more. I’ve been working with her on her barking.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
A few more? Madame deludes herself. There is a treat for the insane barking out the window. A treat for the crazy barking at the neighbor’s skateboard. A treat for the barking when the boys with the bouncing basketball go past. A treat for the announcement bark when Monsieur arrives home. Treats, treats, treats. All day long. Toujours les treats.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Oh dear, I didn’t realize this was becoming such an issue for you. Sweetie, she isn’t getting treats for barking, she is getting treats when she stops barking and comes quietly to me.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
This petit cat should get a treat for being quiet all day long.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Oh you do. You get very special food. Nothing ordinary for you, sweetie, you get special, special food. Your dinner is a special treat. Very special.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Vraiment, that is as it should be.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Poppy used to just bark like a crazy animal and ignore me when I tried to get her to stop. But now she’s learning to stop barking and come quietly to me. And when she does that, she gets a “Good Girl” treat. I just hope she doesn’t figure out that with this system, she’d get more treats if she barked more often.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
That animal does not have the critical thinking nécessaire to comprehend how to take advantage of Madame’s system.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
True. She’s such an innocent, she’d never figure out anything that wily.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Peut-être Madame should give this petit cat more treats, as insurance. An extra morning treat?
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Insurance?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Insurance that this petit cat does not inform the innocent dog about how to work Madame’s system.
Regards, M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Ahh, blackmail. Well, we might be able to fit in a morning treat.
Love, Carolyn
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