Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
Pourquoi Monsieur insinuates a joke about le bathroom paper et moi?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
That’s from your kitten days. We still laugh to think about it.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
You laugh at my kittenhood?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s that or cry. But seriously, you were hilarious.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This hilarious activity, it was what exactly?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Where to start! You were a wild kitten. The wildest, most destructive youngster we’ve ever had. It’s surprising you turned into such a staid grown-up.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s not sarcasm. You were off the charts wild. Every day was a new mess. Or several messes. The toilet paper was one of your favorite games. You raced around the house with one end in your mouth, so it unrolled in a long stream threading through the rooms as you went. And then there was your fascination with toilets. Do you remember that?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
You malign the dignity of this pauvre petit cat. I do not have this fascination.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Thank heavens for that. It was a strange and disgusting fascination. Whenever you heard the toilet flush, you ran in and peered inside, reached into the swirling water, and tried to catch whatever was in it. Whatever. Was. In. It.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This does not sound like moi. Madame may be mistaking another kitten for me.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It was you all right. You weren’t put off by water. You kept trying to catch our goldfish, reaching into the tank up to your shoulder. You pulled out the aquarium plants and left them all over the floor. And when the day came that you finally caught that poor fish, you left him to dry on the floor as well. Then there were the plant accidents. You brought down a large potted Ficus tree. By the time you were finished with that project, branches were broken and there was dirt all over the carpet. It was very dramatic. And then there were all the other plants you chewed up. But you still do that.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
C’est medicinal.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
And the laptop charger cord. And the phone charger cord. And the shoestrings. Many, many, sets of shoestrings chewed through. I’m sure they were medicinal as well.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Then there were the lamps and vases you knocked over. You broke a beautiful Limoges vase. You were a terror. I’m glad you have calmed down in your old age. You are a lovely, sweet old couch-potato now.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

A note to our readers…
Subscribe and get this every week in your email in-box! The subscription button is at the top of the page, on the right. If you are reading this in an email, go to blog.carolynholm.com to find the subscription box at the top right. See you every Friday!