Tough
by carolynholm
Cher Madame,
Le crazy dog, she lurks at moi.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin
Poppy is afraid of you. She calls you a Scary Guy. Sweetie, what did you do to that poor dog?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Moi? Je suis un sweet petit cat. Rien, I did nothing to that moronic animal.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You did something, sweetie. She says you clobbered her.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Moi je lash out in desperation when that foul beast she meets me in le corner.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You scratched at her, or you nailed her?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Tous les phrases American, c’est très confusing. What does Madame mean with this “nailing”?
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Did you wave your paws at her in a threatening manner, or did you actually make contact?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Ah, nailing, this means un flesh wound, non?
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
That’s a little more graphic than I was thinking. I just wondered if you nicked her or merely threatened to.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Un nick? Pah. Mon delicate paw made le flesh wound.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Well, that makes it more serious. And it explains everything.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Qu’est-ce que c’est, explains?
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
It explains why Poppy is so worried about you.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Aha. Très interesting. Le crazy dog she is afraid of moi. Bien sûr, this is because je suis Tough. If le moronic dog comes at this poor petit cat again, je suis ready with les sharp nails to do the nailing.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
If you’re so tough why don’t you just walk up to her and sniff her nose like Mia does?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
We are les enemies. Stalking each other dans les hallways. Dangerous. Enigmatic. Toujours tough. Moi, je suis armed avec mon Killer Look.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Your killer look?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Oui, mon enigmatic killer look.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Seriously? Enigmatic? Do you even know what that means?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Moi, je wait in le dark. Avec les nails flexed, ready to do the nailing. In the face of le stalking hellhound.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Poppy is not doing any stalking. She’s doing her best to avoid you. Puffin, you have turned into a bully! And, I’d like to point out, you’ve been pretty careful to avoid her. I wish you two could just stop being so crazy afraid of each other and get along.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je suis Tough. Le Tough Tuxedo Cat does not do the getting along.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
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