The Predator
by carolynholm
Dear Puffin,
I found tiny bird feathers on the living room sofa. Do you have anything to say about this?
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Un Chickadee entered le house through un open window. Je suis un predator. C’est tout.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You actually caught that poor thing? Honestly, I don’t know how you do it, being as overweight as you are. How can you possibly be that agile?
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm. Je suis très agile.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You don’t need to hunt! You can play with your feather toy! And I feed you plenty of nutritious food. Why do you need to kill a tiny lovely bird!
Carolyn
Cher Madame,
They are les morsels très delicious. C’est mon heritage Français. We French relish les small songbirds.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
But sweetie, we all know you aren’t really French. Unless by French you mean from the gutters of South Central Los Angeles.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je suis Français. This is le knowledge existential.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You are incorrigible. Meanwhile I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t scatter bird feathers around the house.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
If Madame doesn’t want feathers dans le house she should release this pauvre petit cat outside for the hunting.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You know perfectly well that it isn’t safe for you to be outside. We have coyotes, foxes and bobcats in the neighborhood, all of whom are hungry predators who would consider you a juicy lunch.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Pah. Je suis un predator moi même. I have no fear of les hoodlum coyotes. But j’accept mon prison sentence avec dignité. Madame will please continue to leave le window open pour les chickadees.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
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