Scary Guys

by carolynholm

Scary Guys

Dear Alpha Mommy,

When you went to Los Angeles for the weekend you left me with The Scary Guy.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Please don’t call him that. It’s sad that you think Dad is a scary guy. He wants to be your friend. I wish I knew what happened to you before you were rescued to make you so afraid of people. Especially men.

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

I don’t remember what happened to me. I just know that men have dangerous and unpredictable feet. And angry voices. And it doesn’t help to crouch with my ears down.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Clearly someone treated you very badly, but Dad has never been mean to you. He would never kick you. Honey, you really need to make an effort here. He has been treating you kindly for a year and a half now. He wants to be your friend!

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

All I know is I need to be very very careful around him.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Careful is one thing, honey, but while I was gone you refused to come back inside when he let you out into the garden. You sat out in the rain for three hours. He felt terrible. He’s not a bad guy!

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

But he seems like he should be dangerous.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

He’s very sweet. Look how he and Puffin get along. They’re pals.

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

That’s another thing. Now there are two scary guys in the house.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Two scary guys?

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

The Big Scary Guy and The Little Scary Guy. Puffin is the second one. The Little Scary Guy.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Seriously? Puffin? A scary guy?

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

He hisses at me when he sees me.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

I thought he ran and hid when he saw you!

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

He used to. Until yesterday when I tried to play with him and he clobbered me and then chased me down the hall. Now he swaggers around hissing whenever he sees me. Definitely a Scary Guy.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

I had no idea Puffin was so brave. Don’t let him frighten you. He’s a big baby. All that hissing is because he’s worried about you. But one day you’ll both be friends. Just like you are with Mia.

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

I can’t even understand half of what Puffin says. That cat talks like a moron. Mia says he is speaking French. Why does he do that?

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

Puffin is delusional. He thinks he’s French. He refuses to acknowledge that he was picked up out of a gutter in South Central Los Angeles.

Love, Carolyn

 

Dear Alpha Mommy,

I think I’ll just stay out of his way. And keep an eye on The Big Scary Guy. Just to be safe.

XOXOXO

Poppy

 

Dear Poppy,

I live in a madhouse.

Love, Carolyn

 

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