Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
Il faut examine les resolutions of the New Year. I am ready to list them.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s not absolutely necessary sweetie. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Comment*???!!!!! Not the necessary thing?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No, not really. I don’t make resolutions. I haven’t for years.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
That would explain a lot. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Wow. Are you suggesting I need to make some changes?
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
We have all made resolutions. Peut-être Madame should begin a self-examination. For improvements.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
And what are these resolutions you have all made?
Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Mia’s is for you to let her lick your face as long as she wishes. And Poppy’s is for you to let her bark at everyone who walks by the house. I think Dad’s should be for you to start eating Thai food. My resolution is for you to feed us three times a day instead of two.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Those are all resolutions for me! 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Oui. Those are the important things to change in the household. You are the goddess, so you must bear the change.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I’m honored to be regarded with such importance, but honey, that’s not how it works. You should make a resolution to improve yourself in some way.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Improve moi-même? Ouf. Madame is surely joking. Does Madame have a specific complaint about this petit cat?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
No, I don’t. Still, you could make a resolution to keep off the weight you have lost. You’ve done so well! You look so good now that you have lost two pounds!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours les insinuations about the weight. Pah. Mais, what about the resolutions from the rest of the household?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
For starters, when Mia licks my face it’s very sweet, but her tongue is like sandpaper so at some point I HAVE to stop her. And it’s rude for Poppy to bark at our neighbors as they walk past our house. And finally, I don’t think Dad would care for you to make his resolutions for him. And besides, I know Dad loves Thai food, but Thai food doesn’t love me. So, it’s not a matter of choice. Let’s just say Happy New Year to each other and forget the resolutions!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Always the excuses. Madame is la weasel, weaseling out of the family’s complaints.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
But, remember, I’m the goddess.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
La weasel goddess.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

*Loose Translation: WTF

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