Carolyn Holm

Dear Puffin,

You must stop eating my plants.

Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Moi, I am un pauvre chat, an innocent petit cat, who must have sustenance.

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

No you don’t. You get plenty of food. And chewing on my houseplants just makes you barf. On my rug. By the way, I notice you never barf on the tile floor.

Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Cette colère, this anger, it is about the consuming of les plants or le producing of le barf?

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

It’s about both of course. Not to mention that one of these days you are going to chew on something truly toxic. Then I’ll have another big vet bill, like I did when you ate god knows what, some plant, and gagged and frothed at your mouth for an hour.

Carolyn

Cher Madame,

You refer to le Emergency Vet visit? I remember Madame was vexed at le bill.

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Not to mention all my houseplants look terrible. All raggedy. And then you got into my Thyme.

Carolyn

Cher Madame,

That pile of twigs on the dining table? Pah. It wasn’t very nice looking to begin with.

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

That was not a random pile of twigs. That was Thyme that I cut from my garden and left out on a tray to dry. What a mess you made of that! You pulled it off the tray and scattered thyme twigs all over the floor. And barfed up little twigs. In four places. Again, I might add, on the rug.

Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Such an obsession with votre rug. Et these twigs, why does Madame dry the twigs? C’est fou. Craziness.

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

I strip off the dried leaves to use them for cooking.

Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,

Aha! Madame admits it now. You too eat plants from around the house!

M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,

Not the houseplants honey. Just the Thyme. And now I’m going to go clean your latest rug spots.

Love, Carolyn

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