Expensive

by carolynholm


Cher Madame,

I found a pile of money! Je suis rich!!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

I think you probably should hand it over. Dude, you totally owe me.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Pah, je suis un pauvre petit and innocent cat. How can it be that I owe you?

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

You are the most expensive cat I’ve ever lived with.

Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Bien sûr, because I am an expensive purebred!

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

I’m sorry, that’s not really the case. You are a nice example of a tuxedo domestic shorthair, but that’s not exactly posh. And we didn’t buy you anyway, you were found. On the street. Dirty and sick.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Always you have to bring that up. I know what Madame will bring up next.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

The internal parasites? The diarrhea? The hundreds of fleas?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Oui, toujours Madame must bring up these embarrassing details.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

I’m sorry. But these details ran up a big vet bill, so they became memorable. This is part of why you were so expensive.

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Part? There’s more?

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Oh much more. There’s the time you swallowed a needle and thread. Who even does that?

Love, Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Alors, le pink thread she was so enticing. I thoughtfully sampled this pink thread and zut! there was a needle attached. Enfin I swallowed just as Madame reached for me. And then, Madame became, shall we say, agitated.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Of course I was agitated. So we made the run to the Emergency Vet, at midnight no less, and they did an Xray and confirmed that you had done this moronic thing. They had to call in the Endoscopy lady to remove your enticing needle and thread. Do you know what this cost?

Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Moi, I don’t want to know. Madame is getting worked up over this. We should peut-être change le subject.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

Dear Puffin,

Well, it was very expensive. And that isn’t all. There was the time Monsieur found you foaming at the mouth and spitting and hacking. We thought you were poisoned, and again we had to take you to the expensive Emergency Vet, and the nice lady there said you probably just ate something that tasted terrible. That this is what cats do when something tastes bad. I had to pay a lot of money to find that out.

Carolyn

 

Cher Madame,

Not many things taste terrible to moi, such a hungry petit cat. But that houseplant, she was vile.

Regards,

M. Le Poufin

 

 

Are you getting a new post every week in your In-Box? If not, you may be missing some of these weekly posts! It’s easy to subscribe: scroll up to the top of the blog page, enter your email address in the subscription box on the right, and click the subscribe button. If you are reading this in an email, go to blog.carolynholm.com to find the subscription box. (And if you’ve already subscribed, we all raise our paws to salute you!)