Carolyn Holm

Dear Puffin,
Monsieur tells me he found you in a compromised situation.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This petit cat never does the compromise.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
He walked in the door and found you on the dining table. You know perfectly well the table is off limits. He says you looked totally ripped.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
What exactly is meant by this word ripped?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Stoned. Zonked out. Under the influence. Instead of jumping off the table knowing you’re in big trouble, you sat there in a loaf position, staring at Monsieur, looking totally ripped. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Monsieur assumes a lot.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
And the new catnip toy that I had left on the table? Monsieur found it on the floor. Soaking wet with saliva.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
The loaf position is a normal cat position.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Somehow the loaf position made the situation funnier. Because it is normally a relaxed but watchful position. When you should have been diving off the table, Monsieur says you were sort of frozen there, staring at him. Like you were trying to look really normal. Like you were saying “nothing to see here…”
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Monsieur yelled very loudly. And then he laughed. He was très rude. This pauvre petit cat did not know of what to do.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You probably did what you could, under the circumstances. You were, after all, busted. And stoned.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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