100%
by carolynholm
Cher Madame,
Poppy has become intolerable. Ce chien, elle est très rude.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
What is it this time?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Elle dit that je suis un gutter cat ordinaire.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
She called you an ordinary gutter cat? That’s funny. I didn’t know she had it in her.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Toujours vous avez l’attitude négative.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
You have to admit you were found in a gutter. Literally.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Mais avec dignité, Madame. Parce que je suis 100% Aristocratique.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Oh dear. That again. What does that even mean?
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Je suis pure. 100% pure.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
That’s debatable. Probably no life form is pure anything. But you are probably pretty close to 100% Domestic Short Hair. So we’ll let you have your 100% Aristocratic title.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Les autres, le hell hound et le crazy Mia, they are not 100% anything.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
That’s not true, sweetie. Mia is a Lynx Point Siamese and Poppy is a Finnish Spitz. They are both aristocrats!
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Madame is not 100% anything.
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
Actually I am. I had my DNA analyzed and I am 100% Northern European. It’s embarrassing to be that white. But I am 3% Neanderthal. I’m especially proud of that 3%.
Love, Carolyn
Cher Madame,
Pah. You are saying you are 103%?
Regards,
M. Le Poufin
Dear Puffin,
The 3% is part of the 100%. Neanderthals were in Northern Europe. So I’m as much an aristocrat as the rest of you.
Love, Carolyn
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