The Oven Mitt
by carolynholm
Dear Winston,
What a bunch of yahoos you all are.
Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Cool!!!!!! We are?
Winston
Dear Winston,
Yes! This morning you all exploded and went berserk when the UPS man dropped a box on the porch and waved through the window. You three went into to full “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” mode.
Carolyn
Mom,
It was startling!!!!!! So exciting!!!!! And then I ran up and down the hall!
Winston
Dear Winston,
You were the worst. You set the other two off.
Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Poppy was going to bark at him anyway. I just heard him before she did. And when he waved, Puffin freaked out.
Winston
Dear Winston,
I was trying to take a class on Zoom. Thank heavens I was muted.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Why don’t you just hang out with us? You don’t need a class!
Winston
Dear Winston,
I love my class! I’m so glad that San Francisco Ballet offers adult classes on Zoom! But sometimes you three make it awkward.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
You bring the dining chairs into the living room, so clearly you want us to sit there with you.
Winston
Dear Winston,
It’s a barre class. The two chairs are there to be my barre. Not a perch for trouble-makers.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Is that why you wear an oven mitt on your hand?
Winston
Dear Winston,
Of course that’s why. Because you can’t seem to leave my hand alone.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
I love to play with your hand!
Winston
Dear Winston,
My hand isn’t a kitten! Your claws and teeth hurt! There I am, in the middle of jetés, and I’ve got an insane cat attacking my hand. Of course I need to wear a mitt.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Sometimes I ask to be picked up and you refuse.
Winston
Dear Winston,
You expect me to do the tendu combination holding a huge cat. Not going to happen.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
You constantly kick Poppy.
Winston
Dear Winston,
I do NOT kick Poppy! Sometimes she is stretched out on the floor right behind me, and if I don’t notice her, she gets bumped during grandes battements. Bumped. Not kicked.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
So, are you a ballet dancer?
Winston
Dear Winston,
Of course not. I’m just trying to stay fit. Ballet is my favorite way to do that.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
But sometimes you say “She’s trying to kill us!”
Winston
Dear Winston,
Oh dear, I don’t mean that literally, sweetie – I just say that when we are doing something particularly difficult!
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
We like to take your class with you!
Winston
Dear Winston,
I know. But I just wish the three of you were a bit more in the background. The teacher has a dog, and in three years of classes that well-behaved dog has probably only barked three times. But you crazy maniacs disrupt my workout nearly every time! Fortunately, I’m muted, and you’re usually out of camera range, so I don’t have to apologize to the teacher.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
She asked about the oven mitt.
Winston
Dear Winston,
She did. I can’t believe I had to explain that there was a good reason for me to be wearing an oven mitt during a ballet class.
Love, Carolyn
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