Carolyn Holm

Dear Mom,
Why do you tell everyone that I have PTSD?
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
I don’t tell everyone, sweetie. But sometimes it comes up when I’m explaining why you are so wary when you meet new people. And so reactive.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
But I don’t know what it means.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
It just means you had a bad experience when you were young that left you traumatized. If I just wave an arm, you startle into frenzied barking. Evidently someone hit you. A lot. But your daily Prozac pill helps. Yours is a sad story. Do you remember any of it?
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I just remember terror.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
Do you remember having puppies?
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
I HAD PUPPIES?????????
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You did, sweetie. No one knows what happened to them. But you had been nursing them when you were found. You weren’t even full grown. You were a teenage mom! Do you remember how you were found?
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
No. Just the terror. 
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
You were racing around Lodi, a small town in the Valley, too terrified to let anyone approach you. Until you were so thirsty you finally let a kind woman give you water. She took care of you for the local rescue group, and I found you on an adoption website. They said you were a terrier mix. Which is hilarious. There is absolutely nothing terrier about you.
Love, Carolyn

Dear Mom,
You always like to say I don’t have Terrier Attitude.
XOXO Poppy

Dear Poppy,
No, you don’t. Terriers are tough, with lots of attitude. You are sweet and gentle. All the more reason to wonder how someone could treat you so badly. But at least you got out of that bad house. You lost your puppies, but you found us.
Love, Carolyn

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