Carolyn Holm

Cher Madame,
The situation of the food is impossible.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Are you referring to the new feeding system?
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
But of course. Mon dieu, a system? Why does Madame need a new system? Why does Madame need a system at all? The old dishes they worked very well.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I know sweetie, but you and Winston have different nutritional needs. You are overweight and on a diet, and he’s a growing youngster. We need to keep your dinners separate.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
C’est très simple. You put my food in my bowl and you put that scamp’s food in his bowl. Le voilà. Separate food.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
But Winston keeps eating your food, and I’m sure you would eat his if it weren’t in a box that you can’t enter.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This box, this is another strange change.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I think it’s brilliant. I can put Winston’s food bowl in there, close it up, and he is the only creature in this house who is small enough to enter through the hole I cut in the side.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Too many changes. And now the strange new feeder.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It looks futuristic, doesn’t it? It only opens for the right microchip. I’ve programmed a feeder for each of you.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This chip you discuss, what is it?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You are both chipped. On your shoulders. Under the skin. With a microchip that can be scanned to let people know all your home information. In case you get lost!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
The word for this, Madame, is creepy. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It’s technology at its best!
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Ouf. And how does this creepy technology enter the food bowl?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
You each have your own feeder, programmed with your own chip. When you approach a feeder, it only opens if it is your feeder. It stays closed if it isn’t. You won’t be able to open Winston’s, and he won’t be able to open yours.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
How does it know????????????
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It scans your chip! To see if it’s the right one.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Ouf, then the lid, she moves back and forth. C’est très alarming.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I’m sorry about the moving parts. I know this is something you are having trouble getting used to.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Too much change. First Mia gets sick, then she is gone, then just as this petit cat gets used to her disappearance, this coquin arrives, then these abominable feeders arrive with their whirring moving parts, then the old dishes are gone, and enfin this pauvre petit cat finds out he has a chip lodged in his anatomy. C’est too much change.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
It sounds like now would be a good time for a nap in the sunny spot by my desk.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Thank god the basket on the desk, she has no technology. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Well, there you are.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Il faut dire, Madame, the old dishes, they worked perfectly.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

A note to our readers…
Subscribe and get this every week in your email in-box! The subscription button is at the top of the page, on the right. If you are reading this in an email, go to blog.carolynholm.com to find the subscription box at the top right. See you every Friday!