Carolyn Holm

Dear Puffin,
You have your disapproving look on you. Sitting there like a loaf of bread.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Pourquoi this name-calling? Madame calls this petit cat a loaf of bread? What next? The fat-shaming?
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I was just referring to the sitting position, sweetie. When cats sit like that I always think they look like a loaf of bread.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This is most unusual reasoning. Madame she has a vivid imagination.
Regards, M. le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Don’t be offended, sweetie. It’s just one of several basic cat positions. There is also The Circle. When cats nap curled up into a perfect, tight circle. You do that very nicely.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
It is with precision that I do this.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
There is also a position that is one of your specialties: The Reach. Where you nap with one or both front legs stretched out before you. And another one of your regulars, The Chin, where you rest your chin on something in front of you. Like when you sit on my lap in the dining room and rest your chin on the table.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Evidently there has been considerable research on this subject. Madame has apparently been studying this petit cat.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
Oh, I have. There is also The Sprawl. Which is self-explanatory. And then there is The Roadkill. When The Sprawl includes a chin-up twist of the head.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
This is rude. It is at the expense of the pauvre petit cat who cannot defend himself. It was Mia who slept like The Roadkill. Until I surprised her and she jumped up and ran off.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
And who is rude? It wasn’t nice of you to make her move. But it’s true, Mia did sometimes sleep with wild abandon. But she also did The Egyptian. Which is to draw up elegantly into a very upright seated position.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She was not doing that so much at the end. She lost all dignity. She staggered around like une petite drunk.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
She was very sick, sweetie. And after her second stroke she was quite wobbly. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
She got les treats at all times of the day. Toujours les treats and fancy food. Madame does not give THIS pauvre petit cat les treats and fancy food.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I understand, you feel slighted. But you are over-weight again, sweetie, and Mia needed all the calories we could entice her to eat. 
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
C’est très très très très unfair.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
I thought all animals understand that life is unfair. Well, all animals except for humans.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Cats are the exception. Life should not be unfair for a cat. This is why Madame saw this pauvre petit cat sitting here looking despondent like the loaf of the bread. From being cheated from les treats. 
Regards, M. Le Poufin

Dear Puffin,
When you are dying, we’ll give you treats.
Love, Carolyn

Cher Madame,
Toujours le sarcasm.
Regards, M. Le Poufin

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