Panic
by carolynholm
Dear Winston,
How did you get this? I left it sitting on the kitchen table. Were you on the table?
Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Possibly
Winston
Dear Winston,
Well, you were or you weren’t.
Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Technically?
Winston
Dear Winston,
Ok, technically were you on the table or not?
Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Technically NOT. Because one foot was still off.
Winston
Dear Winston,
Ok. But you were enough on the table to wrestle off this jar of treats.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
I couldn’t open the jar anyway.
Winston
Dear Winston,
Fortunately cats don’t have opposable thumbs. But you were still on the table.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
But since I couldn’t open the jar you shouldn’t have yelled at me.
Winston
Dear Winston,
You know the table is off limits.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
Explain to me again why.
Winston
Dear Winston,
It’s a rule.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
Ok, but why?
Winston
Dear Winston,
Because I know where your feet have been.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
You didn’t need to raise your voice.
Winston
Dear Winston,
It got your attention. You flew out of here.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
You were TERRIFYING!!!!!
Winston
Dear Winston,
Oh please. You just love to be spooky.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
You were scary!
Winston
Dear Winston,
Have I ever hurt you?
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
You stepped on my tail yesterday.
Winston
Dear Winston,
That was an accident. The room was dark, I was groping for the light, and I didn’t see you. So that doesn’t count. But seriously, have I ever hurt you? No, of course not.
Love, Carolyn
Hey Mom,
I can’t be sure. You might one day. You wave that big stick.
Winston
Dear Winston,
And you tear out of the room the moment I pick it up. That stick is for reaching up to open and close that curtain. I have never hit you with it.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
You might one day. I never know.
Winston
Dear Winston,
I think you just like being spooky. Like when you dash out of the room when you hear a delivery truck stop in front of our house. Has a delivery person EVER invaded our house? No, of course not. So why do you panic?
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
Because Poppy is BARKING!!!!! Poppy always barks when there is danger.
Winston
Dear Winston,
That’s not a danger bark. That’s a notification bark. She thinks she needs to tell me that there is a delivery truck outside.
Love, Carolyn
Mom,
Because it’s dangerous.
Winston
Dear Winston,
It’s just a notification, sweetie. You like to pretend it’s dangerous.
Love, Carolyn
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