Carolyn Holm

One Dog, Two Cats
Grand Ideas
InterSpecies Memos

Cussing

Hey Mom,Puffin cussed at you just now. Winston Dear Winston,He did indeed.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,He does that a lot. Hissing at you when you move him from your chair.Winston Dear Winston,He does. But not a lot. He’s just saying “F— off” in a general sort of way. I don’t take it personally.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,I don’t […]

People

Dear Mom,I overheard you say yesterday that cats are your people.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,I’m sorry if that made you feel bad, sweetie. I love dogs too!Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,There have been a lot of dogs in this household. I remember Molly.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,She was awesome. Weird, but awesome. Before her, there were Bruno and […]

Time Change

Cher Madame,The Schedule she is now une catastrophe totale.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,That sounds extreme. What makes it a catastrophe?Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,The Schedule she has completely broken down. Every meal is late. Toujours. The evening playtime has been late. Malheureusement, there is no longer a comfortable feeling of regularity. And when we bring […]

Shredding

Hey Mom,I’m demolishing this roll of paper towels.Winston Dear Winston,Apparently.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,I’m totally shredding!!!!!!!!!Winston Dear Winston,Well, you are literally shredding that roll.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,Shredding is what cool guys do.Winston Dear Winston,If you want to be cool, “shredding” is usually used in a different context.Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,I’m pretty sure I’m shredding. In the totally cool […]

Authority

Cher Madame,Because je suis le cat with the badge, il faut that I give Madame some necessary feedback. Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,The badge? Are you referring to the spot on your chest?Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,Mais oui, but of course. Mon badge.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,And this badge confers some sort of special authority?Love, […]

The Vegetable

Dear Mom,I don’t like this creature.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,Winston, or the Jack o’Lantern? Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,Not Winston! But what’s a Jacko thingy? I don’t even know what that is!!!!!!!!!!!XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,It’s a Halloween thing. You’ve seen them before, sweetie. Every year. People carve a pumpkin so that it has a face.Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,That’s […]

Football!

Hey MomI’m a football guy now!Winston Dear Winston,Because you found Poppy’s toy football?Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,Because I’ve been watching football with Dad!!!!Winston Dear Winston,You have indeed. Love, Carolyn Hey Mom,I like hanging out with Dad. We sit together and face the same way, towards the TV.Winston Dear Winston,It’s interesting that you watch TV. You seem to […]

Cows???

Dear Mom,Winston doesn’t know his own name.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,Of course he does, he just pretends he doesn’t.Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,He doesn’t even look at you when you call him.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,Sometimes. When he’s in that mood I can call him ’til the cows come home and he won’t acknowledge it.Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,We have cows???????XOXO […]

Dress Code

Cher Madame,Winston is very proud of his cuff. Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,He is indeed!Love, Carolyn Cher Madame,It’s annoying. He says it makes him more stylish than the rest of us.Regards, M. Le Poufin Dear Puffin,That’s so cute. All it is, it’s just where they shaved his leg for the IV when he was in […]

Crows

Dear Mom,I took care of the crow situation for you. I ordered them to get out of the birdbath.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,Thank you, sweetie. But they’ll be back.Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,Yesterday you called them a bunch of low-lifes.XOXO Poppy Dear Poppy,Because they left greasy rib bones in the birdbath. Love, Carolyn Dear Mom,I’d like some rib […]